So.... I'm here to tell you all I'M TIRED!!!! I've been having a rough time since I last posted. I've been trying to pretend that everything was cool, good, great.....but frankly it's not! After venting to a very wonderful, godly, & extremely important woman in my life today, I was reminded that I don't have to like all this. I don't have to like the fact that we are almost 2 yrs into this adoption process and still don't even know what our girls look like yet. I don't have to like the fact that out of the 2.4 million orphans in Uganda our agency has told us it will probably be quite a wait to even get a referral for 1 girl let alone 2. I don't have to like the end of each day when we time & time again don't get any word from our agency. I don't have to like the fact that we now have a room for our girls that sits lonely & empty. I don't have to like the fact that we have room & love available in our hearts & home & still God isn't sending us our girls.... I was asked today, "Did Jesus like the cross? Did He like the garden? Did He like any of the passion week?" My answer was obviously no. If my Savior didn't like the HUGE task set before Him, I don't think God is expecting me to like all He has planned for me & my family. So I'm telling the truth now when I say I don't like this whole adoption process. It's hard. It's tiring. It's emotional. It's time consuming, but I'm planning on doing it again after this one is done :-) I'm planning on doing it again until we've run out of money & room, but then God could just provide us with more money & a bigger house over & over again. I thank God for this opportunity He's given Josh & I, for this task He has set before us, but I don't like it completely. I do know everything is done for a reason. I know that our girls aren't with us right now b/c of something, whether it be He thinks I'm not quite ready to handle 4 children (don't know if I ever will be), whether He thinks the boys couldn't handle the transition of everything yet, whether He needs time to work on family members heart to except the "difference" adoption is bringing into our family, I don't know what it is, but I need to remember that God loves me, loves my family, loves our girls & He knows what's best for all of us. I know that when this is all said & done we will be able to wrap our arms around our little girls & they will bring such happiness & blessings to our family. I'm praying that through our adoption, God will open other families eyes & hearts to adoption & will call them to adopt as well. I know that above all God's name will be glorified through all of this!!!
Please keep praying for me & our family as we struggle through the (hopefully) last stages of this process.....
2 comments:
You may not know your little girls yet, but God does. He knows exactly what they need and when they need it, and He will have them in your arms at exactly the right moment! It must be hard to keep trusting that after so much time has passed, but He loves those little ones even more than you do, and He loves you and your family, too. He will fit all the pieces together, and when it´s all over you´ll be glad He did it the way He did. :) Hang in there, you have a lot of us praying for you!
We're praying for you guys, Anna! I can't begin to know what you're feeling, but I do know He is guiding each and every one of your steps. Keep trusting in Him!
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