Greater Judgement....

I was excited to see this Kony2012 video go viral on Facebook last night. I kept smiling every time I saw someone else repost it. When Uganda was brought to our attention for an adoption option a couple of years back, someone told us to watch this video. We switched from the Ethiopian program to the Ugandan program shortly after watching it. I couldn't wrap my mind around someone doing that to anyone never mind children. The thing that saddens me the most is that it's taken til 2012 for people to finally hear who Joseph Kony is, for people to see what he is doing. It angers me to think that if this was done years and years ago how many children's lives would have been saved from torture, rape, and death. I am praying for the soldiers who are out there looking for him, fighting on behalf of those children. I feel helpless that I can't do more, but then remember the power of prayer. Please pray with me for this war to end, for the children's safety that are in Kony's custody right now and in the future, for the soldiers/people searching and fighting on these children's behalf, and that Kony will be found and put a stop to all he is in charge of. Bring awareness and pray.
My comfort in this situation is knowing that no matter what happens, Kony will someday stand before the Almighty Judge. The Judge he will stand before later, will bring greater judgement then anything Kony will see here on earth.....Praise God for that!

So last night was the 1st time we had a teen babysit at bedtime. Our kids are major routine kids so I knew to expect the worse for this poor girl. When we arrived home at 10PM, the poor girl was sitting with our 6 yr old in the middle of the boys' room in nite lite light while our industrious 4 yr old sat at the drums drumming in anger. After many apologies and driving this poor girl (amazing babysitter I may add) home. I went to check on the boys' in their beds only to find them peacefully asleep. I sat at our 4 yr old's bed to pray, trying to hold back the anger I had over what I could only imagine what he put our poor sitter through. As I sat watching him sleep, I couldn't put aside the fact that I love that little guy so much. He gets into things he knows he shouldn't. He does things the second after we tell him not to. He is just plain ole naughty and sinful. I hear people say to me many times, "I don't know how you do it with him.". Truthfully, I don't either, but I know no matter what he does, and no matter what he gets into, my love for him will never change. He is my child that God entrusted to me. God formed that little boy in my body for 9 months. Isn't it amazing to think that Christ feels that way towards us, yet 1,000 times stronger. When we enter into His family, there is nothing that will brake His love for us. It's easier for me to forgive my little Tan Man for the wrong he does, when I think of all the wrong I've done towards my Father, but yet He still accepts and loves me unconditionally. Parenting is so hard, but when I can look to my perfect Father, it makes it so much easier. Thankful for the example I have in Him to raise my little blessings.....

The LONG journey finally ends!

It's only taken us 3 1/2 years to get to this day....What a very long and tiring 3 1/2 years it has been. I look back on it all, and truly think only by God's grace and strength did I get thru this all and will heal from it only by Him. From agency and country changes, long waits, losing two precious sweet girls that we thought would be in our arms forever, to a long 5 weeks in Ug@nda, she's finally LEGALLY ours under heaven. She's been ours in our hearts since we saw her sweet little face on Nov. 2 last year. We've had legal guardianship of her since the judge said yes on Mar. 22 of this year in Ug@nda, but just today do we finally legally get to see her name as Nya Cicilia Jennifer COUSINEAU! What a blessing she is to our family. We so do not deserve the job to be her forever Mom and Dad, but God thought we were the only ones under heaven seen fit, and for that we will forever be thankful. This didn't all end how I would have planned it. There would have been two baby girls in our laps today, and as hard as it is for me to come to realization that that just wasn't God's plan right now, I sit in awe of my one beautiful brown skinned beauty, and am thankful that now I have the chance to teach this little girl what it's like to have a Father that no matter what you do, and no matter what you think, He knows what you need and will provide all the love, all the strength, and all the necessities she'll need to get thru this life.
I'll always wonder why He thought it would be a good idea to introduce us to our other two sweet little brown skinned beauties just to take them from us, but try to keep believing that His will is perfect. They will forever be in my heart. They will forever be in my prayers every night. When I think of "my girls" their little faces will always pop up in my head. They will always be a part of our family even though they don't live under the same roof as the rest of us. I don't know when the pain of losing them will ever get better, but for now I thank God for making us the Fab 5..... for now ;-)

My baby is 6 today!

(Labor)
6 years ago my life totally changed. Up until I got pregnant for Braden, I was dead set against growing a child in my body. I only wanted to adopt.

(Just born) I am so glad I changed my mind!










Braden's entrance into the world was not pleasant, to put it lightly, but he brought so much joy and laughter into my life.
(1 year old)










He has a heart of gold! Doing whatever he can whenever he can to help anyone. Never wanting his brother to be punished and always trying so hard to make life fair so our little world stays as peaceful as possible.
(2 years old)



He's passionate about everything he does, sometimes a little too much :-)







(3 years old)













We are hoping to fulfill his wishes soon of "Going to Uganda to help the kids with no Mommy and Daddies." and "Having lots more brothers and sisters. Some adopted and some in Mommy's belly." (We'll see about that whole "in Mommy's belly" thing....)
(4 years old)






He has more love and faith in our Savior than I could ever imagine having, and prays likes he's been a preacher for 20 years. He's our little evangelist, always asking if so & so knows Christ, and if we say we're not sure, he prays for them immediately.
(5 years old)












Braden Nathaniel Oscar Cousineau, I am so proud of the little man God is shaping you to be. I can't wait to see what He has planned for your future (Mommy's praying it goes very slowly though). You are such a blessing in my life! Daddy & Mommy love you so incredibly much! Happy 6th birthday Braden Boy!

Motherhood.....I'm not cut out for this

This past week my hubby's been MIA due to the LEAD11 conference that was put on at EABC. I came to the conclusion that I was not meant to be a stay-at-home single Momma. I'll be the first to admit, I am so not a perfect Mom. I lose my cool. I yell at times. I hide in the bathroom just to get 2 seconds alone. Last night I laid in bed and came to realize, I stink at this whole motherhood thing! Truly! I am so selfish and just plain ole sinful in every way possible. I was feeling guilty about how inadequate my mothering skills were while I was single parenting this past week. After going thru all the "I should have" 's and "I shouldn't have" 's I realized, isn't this life in general not just in parenting? I went to shut down my computer after getting home from my coffee night with my amazing RH ladies, when I saw a Twitter friends tweet. She wrote "So tired of feeling like everybody else has it together & i don't in all areas of life.. Not to mention the time to freakin blog abt it!" I don't know about all you other moms, but I feel like this so often. I stalk tons of blogs, most that make me feel this way almost every time I read their posts because all they talk about is how wonderful and joyous their life and their family is. When I start feeling the "I wish I was more like her" feelings, I have to remind myself they are not who I need to compare myself to. Even they are sinful. I'm sure even they lose their cool once in a while. I am so thankful that the only One I have to compare myself to knew that I would never compare to Him so paid the ultimate sacrifice for me so that even though I don't compare to Him, and even though I don't deserve to come before Him with my requests, to fall into His arms during hard times, to be a part of His family I can because of His sacrifice! Oh, how blessed I am to know that! He knows I stink at motherhood! But He has promised me that He will intercede on my behalf, that He will walk me thru life even motherhood. So as I struggle thru my days (yes, alot of the time it is a struggle), as I try so hard to be patient and homeschool Braden, as I try so hard to be patient and keep up with Tanner and his "Why in the world would a person do something like that" tactics, and as I try so hard to be patient and try to figure out this whole "I don't like my brother Tanner so I'm gonna take every chance I get to grunt at him, push him, and hit him" phase that Nya is going thru, I know without a shadow of a doubt that my Savior is standing right beside me pouring out strength to get me thru it all, and most days He gives me some reassurance so I can think to myself "See, He's helping me do some good in them!" :-)

4 years ago today this handsome bundle of energy entered our world!



(1 day old)








Due to a scheduled c-section, his entrance into this world was an easy, scheduled, & uneventful one unlike the little person he has become.









(1 year old)

He is our vibrant, energetic, industrious child.
He never fails at making a day fun, busy, & full of unexpected events. My life would not be complete without my Tan Man!
(3 years old)

(2 years old)








Happy birthday Tanner Jonathan Julio Cousineau! We love you so much!

A year ago at this very time, I had no idea what was coming. It was the day I had been waiting for for 2 1/2 years! I can remember it all (you can read about it if you click on "all") like it was yesterday. Click here to see the video that shows the excitement that was had....

This process had a lot of ups and downs, but just like pregnancy, labor, and delivery no matter how hard it was and how painful it was I still can't wait to do it all over again. To wait so long for a little someone, and to be able to finally put a little face to the one we had prayed for for so long is such a blessing! Here are the pictures that made me fall head over heals for my sweet baby girl. How far she's come! How big she's gotten! I love this sweet girl with all my heart!