After 9 months......

It's been 9 months since we've been put on the referral list... 9 months! It's a little hard to believe, unless your, well, me.... Now finally after 2 yrs & almost 6 months of being in the adoption process, and 9 months & 12 days being on the referral list, we know who both of our sweet baby girls are!

We were told that we would be getting Lil J's referral on Dec. 16, last Thur. The day dwindled away when finally I emailed our case worker to find out what was going on. She informed me the scanner at the baby home in Ug@nda was down, & the manager wasn't able to scan & email all the documents for the referral so we were told "it will be in tomorrow". Then Fri. rolled around. We were informed yet again that the scanner was still down so we wouldn't be getting the referral until at least Mon. now. I got myself through the weekend with the hopes that come 10:00 or 11:00 on Mon. morning I would be staring at her beautiful face. I received a call on Mon. telling me that the manager had finally sent the referral emails, but they weren't going through. My hopes & attitude at this point were going downhill. I do have to admit, there were tons of "Lord, this really isn't fair anymore!", "God, are you seriously doing this to me?", "Why on earth are you making me wait yet again?" comments flying around in my head. Then another call arrived on Tue. telling us that our case worker wasn't able to get a hold of the manager at the baby home. Our case worker said this was her last day in the office for a while due to her going on vacation, but that she would keep in touch with me over the holidays if at all possible. I was bummed to say the least. Luckily, Josh surprised me with the news yesterday that he had the rest of the week off and would be home with us. My thought, he would be my support to help me get through this depressing week. Today was reaching noon, which is 8:00PM in Ug@nda, way pass working hours I was assuming. I had just received a text from 1 of my sisters asking if we had heard anything yet. I answered no yet again and went to sit with Tan man to watch a movie. Tanner was cuddled on my lap and as I was "doing tickles" (he loves being tickled :-) I just sat with him letting the tears pour down my face. I had had enough. I was tired, disappointed, angry, frustrated..... Then seriously the phone rang minutes after I started my pity party. I jumped up, ran into the kitchen, yelling to Josh "Who is it? Who is it? Who is it?" We had no idea the name it was on the caller id so I answered it. I was never so happy to hear our case worker's voice in my entire life! As soon as I said hello she yelled "We have the referral, Anna! It just came through!" I screamed! She probably will be enjoying her vacation as a deaf person now :-) She said she would start sending the emails through, and they came pouring into my inbox. Our Lil J is absolutely gorgeous! She is 2 yrs old. We're keeping her given name so we can't post it on here so in cyberland she'll be referred to as "Lil J" :-) My 1st thing I wanted to search for was her birthday. I had had a dream on Sept. 13, 2008 that I vividly remember to this day. I woke up in tears, and called my mom right away to tell her about it. I told a few other friends about this dream too so if anyone thinks I am lying you can ask around. I swear! Still giving me goosebumps!

In my dream, I walked into a very small house. There was a younger woman all by herself in labor. I looked around petrified. I couldn't believe this woman was doing this on her own, by herself. I went and sat next to her. I kept telling her it was going to be ok, that she could do this. She never talked to me just smiled a couple of times. She finally pushed the baby out. She wrapped the baby in a blanket, and held it for a minute then stood up, and put the baby in my arms. She walked out of the tiny house, but turned around and mouthed thank you to me and left. I was so angry when I woke up b/c I didn't see the baby's face or didn't figure out if it was a boy or girl, but truly felt God was allowing me to be a part of my child's birth. When we started the adoption process, that was the one thing I struggled with, knowing I wouldn't know their birth stories or being a part of it in any way. I called my mom and told her my baby was born! Can I tell you, Lil J's birthday is in the beginning of Sept in 2008 :-) Got chills yet? I still do!

I was told she would be our quiet little cuddler. Cannot.Wait.To.Cuddle.My.Baby.Girl!

Lots of people keep asking what's next. We now have to finalize our dossier so it's ready for when our lawyer in Ug@nda calls for it. He will request our dossier from our agency, then present it before the court. The court will then give us a date for our court hearing, then we'll be on our way to Afric@! (I think this is the rest of the process of what I am understanding.) We were told to prepare to travel in March. The way things are going, I will be happy to make it there for Nya's 1st birthday in Aug.

Please keep us in your prayers. This is where the road gets bumpier & a bit more tiring......

Finally

We finally got to see our sweet baby Nya's face today! She is absolutely beautiful! Her big brown eyes are to die for! I can't stop staring at her picture. Her given name is not Nya, but we chose Nya because it means "Purpose" & we just love the name. We, unfortunately, can't give any of her info out or post any pictures online because she is not legally ours yet, but should you see me in person..... :-)

So I got the call from our case worker at about noon today. I was in Wal-Mart. I feel extremely bad for the lady that walked by me when I heard our case worker say "We have your referral today!" I believe a little dance happened along with a scream. Our case worker told me if we were ready to hear more about this little girl she would start sending the emails of all her info & pictures. My response "Are we ready? We've only been waiting for 2 1/2 yrs now! Of course we're ready!" She said she would start sending the emails & wanted me to call her back if we had any questions. I don't think I've ever walked through Wal-Mart as quickly as I did today! It was actually more like a jog, I believe. Fast enough for poor Braden to be out of breath & asking why we were racing when we got to the register :-) Then of course the wonderful cashier had to sanitize her hands, wipe down her belt, & basically do everything I really could have cared less about before she rung up our groceries! I wanted to scream at her "Move it along lady or I'm leaving with these groceries w/out paying for them!", but I was somewhat polite yet rushed her as much as I could. Braden & Tanner very much enjoyed the ride home & were yelling in the backseat "Yay! Racecars!" As we arrived home, we passed this strange lady standing at the corner of our road.....It was Barb :-) We all ran inside, got the boys comfortable then Barb & I ran to my computer to read all about our little Nya. Josh got home about 1/2 hr later to jump in on all the excitement. So there's our referral story!
Now we wait yet again. We're now waiting for the referral of Nya's sister which should come in the middle of Dec. This whole waiting thing is getting really old, but tonight I'm not going to even think about that, I'm just going to think about the sweet little face we were introduced to today. God is so AWESOME! This wait has been long, but Nya was so worth the wait. I cannot wait to hold her in my arms & kiss her poofy cheeks...........

Thank you God for our sweet little Nya! Thank you for bringing her into this world 3 months ago! Thank you for sending her to the specific baby home so she could be matched with our family! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

48 Hours from now......

Where was she found? What day was she born? Does she have hair? Is she a happy baby? Is her family alive? How big is she? How much does she weigh? What does her sweet little face look like?

All these questions have been going through my head. I've been so anxious & excited, but as time draws near, I'm getting nervous. I'm scared that our sweet little "N" that we've known about for 3 months now will be taken away. I'm so scared that something is going to happen to make it all fall through. I'm trying to trust that if little "N" is meant to be in our family we will know all about her in less than 48 hours. I never thought that at the moment we've been praying for for almost 2 1/2 years now, I would be more nervous than excited..........

but oh to see her sweet little face! to know all about her! to finally put a little person to our sweet baby "N"s name.......

Less than 48 hours sweet baby girl we'll finally know who you are!!!!

Oh the happiness!

We received an email today with a little bit of info on BOTH of our baby girls! I am so glad there were no cameras around as I'm sure I looked like a freak reading an email aloud all by myself crying like a baby! I wish I could bottle up the feeling I had while reading a little about our precious girls. Unfortunately, it wasn't our "official" referrals so I can't share any of the info with you all :-/. We should be receiving sweet baby girl "N"'s referral the first week of Nov. then our baby girl "J"'s referral in the middle of Dec. Please pray for them. Pray for the rest of this waiting period as it could fall through at any time in this phase. Pray that God will start preparing them for all the unknowns & transitions..... & for us as well.

This Momma's having an exceptionally good day!

Why the privacy????

So I know lots of people have been asking why we made our blog private......

We were contacted by our agency requesting that we do this. Apparently, it's not too uncommon for the official in charge of your case to look into you a little. We didn't want anything we said on here to hinder our case in any way. Not that we bash the system from where are girls are coming from, but just want to be safe. So if you know of someone that would like to follow along with us on this journey please feel free to forward me their emails & I can send them an invite so they can read our blog.

Where we're at in the adoption.....

We have specific girls at this very moment! They're both under the same roof in the same baby home! Oh, how that gives me some sense of hope & lots of peace. The caregivers at this baby home are amazing so I know our baby girls are being cared for! We still don't know who our precious girls are yet, their names, ages, or seen their faces yet, unfortunately :-( We were told 2 weeks ago we would get "unofficial" info on Baby Girl #1 in 2 weeks..... still waiting :-/ We're praying to get this info any second now. We should be getting Baby Girl #1's referral in Nov. sometime then hopefully Baby Girl #2's referral in Dec. or Jan. As soon as we get any info that we have permission to pass along, you will be informed!

Thank you all so much for your prayers & support through all of this!

We Won't Tap Out!

Josh and I have been struggling for the past couple of weeks. We've been attacked emotionally, physically and spiritually. We had no doubt this was going to happen. Adoption is a call from God! It's an amazing thing! When we as believers, finally give in and start doing what God has called us to do, you can guarantee the enemy will not be happy, and will try to sneak in some way. Following God's will for your life makes you seek after Christ, makes you want to become closer to Him to hear what He's telling you, it makes you have to trust Him COMPLETELY. The enemy knows this, and this is the last thing he wants to happen. My belief is when the enemy attacks like this, he knows something great is around the corner, and will try to do all he can to stop you from reaching that corner, or crush you so hard that when you finally get to the corner it will be hard to enjoy even though it's from our Savior. Think of our Savior in the garden the night before He went to the cross! It's your decision if you allow the enemy to ruin it for you, to allow him to be involved, or to stop him. No matter what it is your doing that God is calling you to, satan will attack; adoption is no different. I strongly believe adoption is one of his most hated things that we as believers can do. Let me explain.......

I feel strongly that this all started out when my Savior was born. satan was defeated by a baby, a child, and since then I feel very strongly he HATES children. That is why there are so many orphans. He wants them to be alone, hated, despised, unloved, tortured, and in the end killed without ever knowing the unconditional love of our Savior. I believe satan gets angry when just one orphan is on their way to a forever home, a home that will no doubt show them the love of Jesus Christ, the child that defeated satan to begin with (Much of this thinking comes from the book by Dr. Russell Moore Adopted for Life, which I would recommend to your reading if you even have an inclining towards adoption, or want to know what you can do to help.) The quote I read over and over again and feel God has been engraving on my heart is,

‎"I firmly believe that the orphan is precious to God. He created them in His image, He loves them, and His heart is broken for them. His answer to this tragedy is you and me. We have to utilize our influence, our relationships, and our talents to fight this enemy. As long as we sit on our hands, the enemy will continue to unleash hell and savagely kill the innocent. Dare we continue to just watch it happen?"-Tom Davis

Christ has deep passion for the orphans. He says it over and over again in His Word. 


Exodus 22:22 ‘You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child.’


Deuteronomy 10:18 ‘He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow’......


Deuteronomy 27:19 ‘Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow’.....


There are so many more!

Christ didn't just ask us to "if you have the resources, the patience, the passion" care for the orphans He calls us to. No matter what.


Psalm 82:3 ‘Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.’ 


Isaiah 1:17 ‘learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.’ 


James 1:27 ‘Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.’

I'm not saying God has called everyone to adopt because He hasn't, but He has called us to act in some way. This could be adopting, praying and supporting a family who is adopting, help support an adoption financially, go on mission trips to work with orphans, the list goes on and on... 


I still remember one of the first days we worked at Campi (the orphanage Lili, Josh's sister, was from) in Ecuador, when I walked in and saw all those babies (younger than my Tanner, who is almost 3) all lined up in the tiniest closet of a bathroom, sitting on little potty chairs, sores on their little bums from sitting there for no doubt hours, poop all over them, with an empty stare in their eyes knowing there was no help in sight. It was that day that I decided; I was going to let God use me to bless as many of these children as possible. Our baby girls are only 2 to start.

It says in scripture leave all you have, pick up your cross, and follow Him.


Matthew 10:38 ‘And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.’
Matthew 16:24 ‘Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.’ 


Mark 8:34 ‘And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
’

Mark 10:21 ‘And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.' 


John 12:26 ‘If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.’

This could be so many things to some. Comfort, time, and money are just a few things that may be needed to be sacrificed unto the glory of Jesus!

Christ went through torture and hell to adopt us into His family. Josh and I are not adopting because it's what people are doing these days. We're not adopting for us, for our boys, we're not even adopting for our two little girls who are institutionalized and without a loving forever family right now. We're adopting because that's what God did for us. He gave His only Son to come down to be in this sinful disgusting world, to be sacrificed and tortured so we could enter into His family, to be His daughters, His sons. He gave EVERYTHING! His life! Why should we not set aside a few years out of our lives, our comfort to do the same for children that He cherishes and loves just as much as us.

We are trying to complete a task that God has set before us and by His strength it will be completed. We had no doubt the enemy would attack soon. We're not done with this, and we're screaming to him “We will not tap out!”. We will keep going down the path Christ has set before us. He will lead us and refuel us for the next attack. satan wants to see our baby girls stay in an orphanage unloved, destroyed, tortured and most of all away from the love of their Savior.

The process of adoption is time consuming, long, tiring, and daunting. It hasn't been easy, and it's only going to get more challenging, but in the end the One worthy will be glorified as rightly deserved. We are so thankful for the community God has placed in our lives. It's been so amazing to have this community come along side us, pray for us, talk with us, and help us in any way we need. People who email us, Facebook us, call us, text us, and stop us in passing to let us know they are praying for us, loving us, and willing to help. This adoption process has given us a glimpse of Heaven, and how the church should work. I can't imagine doing this without our community God has blessed us with. You all know who you are, and thank you for blessing us with all your support!

I'm not trying to scare you, or deter you from adopting. It is extremely difficult and emotional to go through, but I can tell you, I've never felt this close to my Savior. I've never put my whole trust in Him. I've never called on Him so many times a day like I do now. I've never told Him take it all and have it be to ‘Your’ glory, like I have during this process. It's an AWESOME experience! I had someone ask me a little while ago, “Would you be devastated if you went through 2 ½ years of this, and come to the end never getting your little girls?” I had to think about that, I had to pray about it. It kinda hit me.... that may happen. I know I'm not in that situation yet, but I know God would give me the strength to endure the pain that would come with that, but I would ask Him through it, if our story brought other families to realize they are called to adopt and bring their babies home into forever families, I would PRAISE my Father and continue to give Him glory for those little ones being shown His ultimate love!

I do have faith we will have our baby girls soon! It's so close...... like I mentioned an attack usually means there's good news around the corner..... we may have been blessed with a little peak around our corner the other day..... ;-)

Keep the prayers coming! We're going to need them!

PRAISE and GLORY be to the only ONE who deserves!!!!

AMAZED Yet Again!

Just when I get comfy, relaxed, and think I can't get more amazed by my Savior, He throws more amazing blessings at us! We had a phone interview scheduled a couple of nights ago with LYDIA Fund. These people were wonderful to talk to, they prayed with us, and granted us $1,500 for travel expenses while in Uganda to go get our girls! Josh did the math, and since June of this year we've been given about $12,000 towards our adoption through donations and grants!(Thank you to all of you who have given, you know who you are!) $12,000 people! How unbelievably amazing and miraculous is that? I remember when we first started this whole process, we (well, mostly me) were so worried about where the first $2,500 agency fee was going to come from. I think God may have been chuckling at us.

God has completely knocked my socks off during this whole process. I'm not just talking about Him providing all this money (although it is AWESOME and is only by Him that it's happened!), but I've fallen more in love with my Savior during this adoption process more than ever. This adoption has made me HAVE to rely on God. How sad is that, that I finally found something that I NEED God to help me through. I am so thankful for this realization. I NEED Him in EVERYTHING I do. Every second of the day, I NEED Him, I WANT Him. I am so thankful He is always there and always will be there for me. That He loves me, no matter how many times I fall and fail. He'll always welcome me back with open arms. I love the fact that I can tell Him my fears, frustrations, and dreams, and know that without a doubt He will listen and give me exactly what He knows is best for me. I love the fact that every time I worry about our girls and speak to my Father about it, He comes back to remind me He knows who they are, He's protecting them, He'll bring them to us at the perfect time, and that He loves them even more than I do and even more than I can imagine. Oh, how I love the place I am in right now! In His perfect will! I can't wait to fall more and more in love with Him. He's got AWESOME things coming our way, and I can't wait! I can't wait to have another reason to brag about my Savior. To be able to give Him the glory through our situations that He rightly deserves!

Keep 'em coming, Lord!