It's Time!

The time has finally come! We will be leaving for Ug@nda Sun. night to go get our sweet baby Nya! We will be arriving in Ug@anda at 11:45 PM Mon. night (Ug@nda time, 3:45PM your time). We're rushing to get things put together, finished, & completed before we go. I've been waiting for 2 1/2 yrs for this, but yet I feel as though it has rushed upon us. It's probably due to the "you need to leave in 4 days" situation.
We received an email yesterday that Lil J left with her dad in Jan. As I wanted so badly to meet her, I've also been asking God to limit the roller-coaster rider on the rest of this journey for me. I'm figuring this was His way of protecting me & getting me through that little part.
We will try to update this blog as much as possible while we're in Ug@nda. I'm not 100% sure the internet is reliable there so I can't promise anything just that we'll try.

Things to pray for:

*Safe & uneventful travels for Josh & I (in the air & we also have about a 2hr drive once we get into Ug@nda to the place we will be staying at. This will be in the middle of the night so please pray for safety for that as well)

*For the boys. They will be in good hands, but we know they will miss us & be affected by this.

*For Bammy (Barb) who will be with the boys.

*For Nya (transitions, bonding etc....)

*For our court hearing which is scheduled for Mar. 10. (I'll update on the time when we find out)

Thank you so much for all your prayers! We're going to need them!

Update

I just realized it's been a while since I've updated. We're still waiting for a court date. Our case was assigned to a judge about a week and half ago, then we received an email a few days later telling us that judge was moved out of family court so we were back to waiting for our case to be assigned to a judge yet again. With elections happening over there right now, we don't expect to hear anything this week or maybe not even next week either :-/
As far as we're concerned Lil J is still at the baby home. We were told we would be somewhat kept in the loop as things happen with her, but have heard absolutely nothing since the bad news that arrived about a month ago.
Nya is doing great. Growing slowly, but little by little. She's still 1 of the most beautiful little things that has come into my world. I can't even imagine & wait to hold her in my arms finally. I know I'll feel as though it's a dream once it actually happens. We're ready for her! I was given a baby shower a couple of weeks ago, & was blessed with everything we needed for our little Nya. Truthfully, we're ready for both our girls should God perform a miracle while we're there & get to bring them both home. I know, I'm not getting my hopes up, but definitely believe God has the power to make it happen.
So we wait...... yet again. The waiting gets harder & harder as time goes by, but through the impatience & struggles I still believe my Savior's timing is perfect & our sweet baby girl will be in our arms at the perfect time.....
A friend put it in the most perfect words in 1 of my shower cards that Nya is one of the most longed for & prayed for baby girl. She really is! It gives me so much peace knowing how many people are praying for both our girls. Thank you so much!

Can someone please wake me up......

I keep trying to wake myself up. I'm begging God to help this all be a huge nightmare that I'm going to wake up from any time now.....
I got a call today that I never imagined I would get. A man has come into the picture claiming to be Lil J's father. He is proceeding in the court to prove he is her father & that is capable of parenting her. Our little girl is being taken away from us & I can't do anything to stop it. My heart is shattered. I'm sad, angry, confused..... I don't even know what to do with myself. I keep praying that God's will will be done, but I'm so afraid His will is not mine. I know God loves my baby girl more than I can even imagine. I know He has a plan for her little life. I know He'll protect her, but that's not making this any easier on me. We are proceeding with Nya's paperwork. It will be sent to Ug.anda next week sometime so it won't be long til we go to pick our sweet baby Nya up, but I'm going to have a huge whole in my heart going into this. Oh, how I absolutely LOVE Nya & am so excited to go finally get her, but I wasn't just suppose to go get her.... She was suppose to have a sister. I was suppose to have 2 baby girls in my arms flying back to the states with me. We're keeping Lil J's case open so that if anything does happen we will continue on trying to get her home, but as of now just 1 of our 2 baby girls will be coming home with us..........
I wish God could send me an email just telling me why.........It's not fair! I don't understand all this, but I have to keep the faith that His plan is perfect. Please keep Lil J in your prayers. That God's will will be done in her little life & that He will protect her.....

I am so ready for 2011!

Usually I'm not so anxious to start a new year, but I can't control my excitement to finally see 2011 roll in! I am praying 2011 is the year God chooses to finally make me a Mommy of 4. I feel God is really starting to prepare all of us here, I'm praying He's doing the same for our munchkins in Ug@nda as well. I'm starting to get more of a peace about leaving the boys for so long. It's still hard to think about being away from them for a long period of time, but the heart numbing feeling I use to get is not as strong anymore. It's becoming overtaken by the excitement of thinking about finally having our baby girls in my arms & finalizing this journey. He's still working on the flying part I think. The thought of being up in the air for hours upon hours still makes me vomit a bit in my mouth, but that can be treated w/ LOTS of Tylenol PM on the flight I'm hoping :-). The boys are getting more & more excited to meet their little sisters. Braden talks about them quite a bit & prays for them every night. He's even requested a picture of them of his own to be put in his room so he can see them all the time :-). Tanner, I think, is starting to understand a little more what is going on. He keeps asking "When my sissies come?". I've been slipping in the fact to them that Mommy & Daddy will have to be far away for a little while to get their sisters, but that Daddy will be back before they know it, & then they can all come pick their Uncle Johnny, sisters, & Mommy up from the big airplane. Braden's just excited to see the big airplane, & Tanner tells me it's ok if I go, but Daddy needs to stay with him :-). They both say they want to come with us until I inform them on how many shots Daddy & Mommy have to get in order to go. They decide staying with Bammy & Lilly sounds a lot more fun than multiple shots :-).
This time of waiting now is harder than I imagined. Finally knowing their little faces, their names, their stories, knowing they're our little girls but not having them here with their family doesn't seem fair to me. My thoughts wander throughout the day wondering what they are doing. If Nya was held & cuddled while she was fed her bottle, or if it was just propped up on a pillow for a quick fix? If Lil J was given any special attention, or if she just played in the corner all by herself all day? The home the girls are in is extremely nice, and the "aunties" are wonderful, but it's still not the same as them being here with their forever family. I'm praying for some major peace & patience during this time of waiting.

For all of you who regularly pray for us, our girls, & our process, I do have some specifics for some upcoming events......

*Courts open back up on Jan. 7 over there. There will be 3 new people added to seeing cases like ours. (There has only been 1 in the past) Please pray that this will quicken everyone's process there, & that it will help us get to the girls faster. We were told to be prepared to travel in March. I'm not getting my hopes up, but praying fervently that this will help us get to them sooner than March.... Not holding my breath though :-/

*Pray that God will keep preparing all 6 of us for travel/transitions/bonding/etc.

*We're working on some more fundraisers. We thought we were good for the rest of the process, but that was before my stupidity & lack of being able to read :-/ I didn't read some fees right so we are now a little behind funds-wise. Please pray that we can pull the fundraisers together & that we'll be all set when it's time to travel.

I want to thank everyone for your prayers & support. We don't take for granted the community God has blessed us with during this journey. You guys have helped us get through all of this. Thank you so much!

After 9 months......

It's been 9 months since we've been put on the referral list... 9 months! It's a little hard to believe, unless your, well, me.... Now finally after 2 yrs & almost 6 months of being in the adoption process, and 9 months & 12 days being on the referral list, we know who both of our sweet baby girls are!

We were told that we would be getting Lil J's referral on Dec. 16, last Thur. The day dwindled away when finally I emailed our case worker to find out what was going on. She informed me the scanner at the baby home in Ug@nda was down, & the manager wasn't able to scan & email all the documents for the referral so we were told "it will be in tomorrow". Then Fri. rolled around. We were informed yet again that the scanner was still down so we wouldn't be getting the referral until at least Mon. now. I got myself through the weekend with the hopes that come 10:00 or 11:00 on Mon. morning I would be staring at her beautiful face. I received a call on Mon. telling me that the manager had finally sent the referral emails, but they weren't going through. My hopes & attitude at this point were going downhill. I do have to admit, there were tons of "Lord, this really isn't fair anymore!", "God, are you seriously doing this to me?", "Why on earth are you making me wait yet again?" comments flying around in my head. Then another call arrived on Tue. telling us that our case worker wasn't able to get a hold of the manager at the baby home. Our case worker said this was her last day in the office for a while due to her going on vacation, but that she would keep in touch with me over the holidays if at all possible. I was bummed to say the least. Luckily, Josh surprised me with the news yesterday that he had the rest of the week off and would be home with us. My thought, he would be my support to help me get through this depressing week. Today was reaching noon, which is 8:00PM in Ug@nda, way pass working hours I was assuming. I had just received a text from 1 of my sisters asking if we had heard anything yet. I answered no yet again and went to sit with Tan man to watch a movie. Tanner was cuddled on my lap and as I was "doing tickles" (he loves being tickled :-) I just sat with him letting the tears pour down my face. I had had enough. I was tired, disappointed, angry, frustrated..... Then seriously the phone rang minutes after I started my pity party. I jumped up, ran into the kitchen, yelling to Josh "Who is it? Who is it? Who is it?" We had no idea the name it was on the caller id so I answered it. I was never so happy to hear our case worker's voice in my entire life! As soon as I said hello she yelled "We have the referral, Anna! It just came through!" I screamed! She probably will be enjoying her vacation as a deaf person now :-) She said she would start sending the emails through, and they came pouring into my inbox. Our Lil J is absolutely gorgeous! She is 2 yrs old. We're keeping her given name so we can't post it on here so in cyberland she'll be referred to as "Lil J" :-) My 1st thing I wanted to search for was her birthday. I had had a dream on Sept. 13, 2008 that I vividly remember to this day. I woke up in tears, and called my mom right away to tell her about it. I told a few other friends about this dream too so if anyone thinks I am lying you can ask around. I swear! Still giving me goosebumps!

In my dream, I walked into a very small house. There was a younger woman all by herself in labor. I looked around petrified. I couldn't believe this woman was doing this on her own, by herself. I went and sat next to her. I kept telling her it was going to be ok, that she could do this. She never talked to me just smiled a couple of times. She finally pushed the baby out. She wrapped the baby in a blanket, and held it for a minute then stood up, and put the baby in my arms. She walked out of the tiny house, but turned around and mouthed thank you to me and left. I was so angry when I woke up b/c I didn't see the baby's face or didn't figure out if it was a boy or girl, but truly felt God was allowing me to be a part of my child's birth. When we started the adoption process, that was the one thing I struggled with, knowing I wouldn't know their birth stories or being a part of it in any way. I called my mom and told her my baby was born! Can I tell you, Lil J's birthday is in the beginning of Sept in 2008 :-) Got chills yet? I still do!

I was told she would be our quiet little cuddler. Cannot.Wait.To.Cuddle.My.Baby.Girl!

Lots of people keep asking what's next. We now have to finalize our dossier so it's ready for when our lawyer in Ug@nda calls for it. He will request our dossier from our agency, then present it before the court. The court will then give us a date for our court hearing, then we'll be on our way to Afric@! (I think this is the rest of the process of what I am understanding.) We were told to prepare to travel in March. The way things are going, I will be happy to make it there for Nya's 1st birthday in Aug.

Please keep us in your prayers. This is where the road gets bumpier & a bit more tiring......

Finally

We finally got to see our sweet baby Nya's face today! She is absolutely beautiful! Her big brown eyes are to die for! I can't stop staring at her picture. Her given name is not Nya, but we chose Nya because it means "Purpose" & we just love the name. We, unfortunately, can't give any of her info out or post any pictures online because she is not legally ours yet, but should you see me in person..... :-)

So I got the call from our case worker at about noon today. I was in Wal-Mart. I feel extremely bad for the lady that walked by me when I heard our case worker say "We have your referral today!" I believe a little dance happened along with a scream. Our case worker told me if we were ready to hear more about this little girl she would start sending the emails of all her info & pictures. My response "Are we ready? We've only been waiting for 2 1/2 yrs now! Of course we're ready!" She said she would start sending the emails & wanted me to call her back if we had any questions. I don't think I've ever walked through Wal-Mart as quickly as I did today! It was actually more like a jog, I believe. Fast enough for poor Braden to be out of breath & asking why we were racing when we got to the register :-) Then of course the wonderful cashier had to sanitize her hands, wipe down her belt, & basically do everything I really could have cared less about before she rung up our groceries! I wanted to scream at her "Move it along lady or I'm leaving with these groceries w/out paying for them!", but I was somewhat polite yet rushed her as much as I could. Braden & Tanner very much enjoyed the ride home & were yelling in the backseat "Yay! Racecars!" As we arrived home, we passed this strange lady standing at the corner of our road.....It was Barb :-) We all ran inside, got the boys comfortable then Barb & I ran to my computer to read all about our little Nya. Josh got home about 1/2 hr later to jump in on all the excitement. So there's our referral story!
Now we wait yet again. We're now waiting for the referral of Nya's sister which should come in the middle of Dec. This whole waiting thing is getting really old, but tonight I'm not going to even think about that, I'm just going to think about the sweet little face we were introduced to today. God is so AWESOME! This wait has been long, but Nya was so worth the wait. I cannot wait to hold her in my arms & kiss her poofy cheeks...........

Thank you God for our sweet little Nya! Thank you for bringing her into this world 3 months ago! Thank you for sending her to the specific baby home so she could be matched with our family! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

48 Hours from now......

Where was she found? What day was she born? Does she have hair? Is she a happy baby? Is her family alive? How big is she? How much does she weigh? What does her sweet little face look like?

All these questions have been going through my head. I've been so anxious & excited, but as time draws near, I'm getting nervous. I'm scared that our sweet little "N" that we've known about for 3 months now will be taken away. I'm so scared that something is going to happen to make it all fall through. I'm trying to trust that if little "N" is meant to be in our family we will know all about her in less than 48 hours. I never thought that at the moment we've been praying for for almost 2 1/2 years now, I would be more nervous than excited..........

but oh to see her sweet little face! to know all about her! to finally put a little person to our sweet baby "N"s name.......

Less than 48 hours sweet baby girl we'll finally know who you are!!!!